Wang Shan story of Chinese women’s football queen (Part 3)

 

The timetable is terrible. We were awakened at 7 o’clock, had breakfast at 7:30 and started school at 8:00. After lunch and lunch break, we practiced until dinner. From 19:30 to 21:00, I only study. For six months, I repeated the schedule like that. Six months may not sound like a long time, but for me it’s a period.

I just want to play ball with a smile on my face. But that is not simple. Somehow, there are people who want to immerse me, saying that I can’t afford and smash my desire. Even the coaches do that. “That girl is unwise. She has no sense of position. She doesn’t even care about the ball,” they often say. They said I had no soccer talent, which made me almost believe that it was true.

Those words are not common in China. Parents and teachers often expect too much from children, but they never treat them like that. I think they only have an aversion to me. Even the two most important coaches thought I was like that, even though our relationship is now better. There was a teacher who discovered my gift when I was playing with the boys. But he always said that I didn’t know how to use my mind when playing football.

The other one is the teacher who coaches my second level team. He was the most demanding. When I was 13, I played a pretty good game and hoped to be praised when I left the field. But, he repeatedly criticized, making me unjust. That night, I could only cry because of hurt. A teammate spotted my mood and told the teacher. He seemed anxious and looked for me shortly afterwards and said: “It’s really nice to play that game.”

I always have to think about negative comments, and doubt myself. But they just want me to continue to strive and prove my ability.

Wang Shan story of Chinese women’s football queen (Part 2)

I was distraught. But now, I understand that Dad lies only to help me have a better life. I know I have to get on that train and go to Beijing. I am happy to have a father who cares like that, even though he is not my father. Actually, I haven’t seen my birth parents for a long time.

My parents divorced. I know they don’t like each other. When my father took me to live with my uncle, I couldn’t accept it. I just cried and trembled. Worse, the parents left Wuhan, went to another city to live. I rarely see them again. We are no longer in contact, because I feel there is no problem at all. Thinking of goodbye every day, I just felt miserable. I don’t want to say about them anymore.

My parents are really my uncle. I consider my cousin as my brother. When I first lived in my uncle’s house, I was scared and could only lock myself in my room. Gradually my brother asked me to play football, to help me make new friends. In elementary school, we play football together during recess. There is a football club in the school, but only for boys. Thanks to him, I was allowed to play together. I left my hair short and had a face like a boy’s, making people call me: Tomboy. “Look at Tomboy, he’s so cool,” people often say. That memory always makes me smile.

Football helps me express myself and get attention from people. After my parents divorced, I really needed that. Football also helped me to be in a team. The whole team won together, lost together. Whatever happens, we are not alone. I love football so simply.

At the age of 12, I was accepted into a soccer training facility in Beijing. The school scared me because I was a few years younger than my classmate. I’m shy and always remember my parents and my brother. The school is located far from the city center, so I just hang around at the academy.